How many fat stereotypes are you aware of? Fat people only eat fast food or fatty food… fat people don’t exercise… fat people smell… fat people are lazy… fat people aren’t intelligent… fat people are greedy… fat people are gluttonous… fat people cause their own fatness through their own refusal of building or using willpower… etc. I’m not going to go into the ways these stereotypes are complete bull. Instead, I want to talk about how these stereotypes can effect the people exposed to them.
Some neat convo that happened in the comments of a post at RoundShape reminded me of how I struggled with my own feelings of feeling trapped in the fat stereotype. BTW… I think April’s title of, “Oh to HECK with your willpower already” is freakin’ awesome! Hehehehehehehehe!!!
I spent years feeling somehow obligated to LIVE the fat stereotypes. Getting over this was one of the biggest struggles of my life.
Fat people are dirty and smelly… so, I didn’t shower as often as I would’ve liked… I felt as if this was my destiny to be this way. Fat people live on crap food and hate balanced nutrition… and, so I felt trapped in only craving the least nutritionally dense food. Fat people are lazy… so I lived this as well. I felt that I HAD to. I felt I had no choice. I was fat… fat people are these ways, so I must also be like this, right? I was a slave to stereotype and didn’t even know it.
Most days I didn’t bother looking in the mirror, except for a quick glance to make sure my hair wasn’t completely whacked-out. Looking at my mirror image below the neck was to be avoided completely. On those days that I did catch a glimpse of me below the neck, I often felt the stereotypes closing in on me even more tightly. I saw my not flat stomach and was reminded of all the stereotypes. I saw the dimples in my thighs and saw undiscipline and greed. The self-hate was stifling. Why the heck would I want to take care of this person who is so “bad” and to be hated anyway? And, so, I perpetuated the stereotypes in my own life.
I am so sad to say that I see people in my family who are still living in this prison of fat stereotypes. As I mentioned over at RoundShape, my step-father is in his 70′s and, as far as I have known, this man has spent his entire life trapped in stereotypes and hating himself for his fat… really, for that he thinks his fat means, but the things his fat DOESN’T HAVE TO mean. He laughs and talks about how he isn’t as disciplined as some other thin person, because he cannot put down the cake. He is fat, so he must be lazy… not like some thinner person who must not be lazy, cuz they are thin. This man raised me and has been talking like this for as long as I can remember. Isn’t that sad? So much unecessary suffering… it breaks my heart.
I wish I could set all my loved ones free from fat hate and the stereotypes. There is such a diversity of body shapes among the people who seem to be tormented by fat-hate and stereotypes. Some of them are very thin… some normal… some very muscular… some fat. Suffering from fat-stereotypes can hurt folks of any size…
But, I will have to content myself with being happy that I have worked to set myself free. 
That is something to be grateful for, for sure.
Do fat stereotypes still haunt you sometimes? Which ones? How do you challenge them? Ah yes… and if anyone would like help challenging them, don’t be shy about commenting or emailing the blog. Challenging fat stereotypes and fat-hate is one of my favorite things.
Fat people can be healthy. Fat people can be tidy. Fat people can be highly intelligent. Fat people can be active. So can thin people… so can average people… Whatever your size, enjoy it! Don’t let ignorance and prejudice keep you from enjoying a healthy and happy life.
–AngryGrayRainbows
Beautifully written! I think one of the “stereotypes” (if you can call it that?) that I find myself falling into most is one that transects with being female: that I have to work EVEN HARDER than most to be even marginally acceptable. It isn’t enough to just Pass a class, I have to do it with Flying Colors to compensate for being fat and female…. though I suppose if we go with some of the more readily identified fat stereotypes (those things that always make people laugh at an un-funny comedian who falls back on Fat for laughs) there is one that seems to drag at me all the time is that Fat means Unfashionable. Now I have no qualms with loving my jeans and t-shirt but sometimes I DO like to dress snazzy and sport a scarf and a bit of hair gel styled hair…but it is really hard to break free of the assumption that I just shouldn’t care because I’m fat….
Thanks for the very thought provoking post!
OOoooo… April! You always provoke my thoughts as well… in this case, the bit about having to work even harder to be even marginally acceptable! I’ve felt this myself less because I am female, but more cause I am not super-thin. As if, I have to be extra virtuous or smart or hard-working in life, because my fatness is less virtuous, smart or hard-working than thinner bodies… or something. Hmmm… I never knew I thought any of that before… interesting. Now there are some thoughts that I will be working on challenging!!
Yay to challenging thoughts! And I think you hit what I was fumbling to say right on the head..or nail or something… however that goes.
This “As if, I have to be extra virtuous or smart or hard-working in life, because my fatness is less virtuous, smart or hard-working than thinner bodies” .
I gave up trying to live down the stereotypes, decided it’s easier for me to just lose the weight
Julie, to be completely honest, I gave up many times myself. Sometimes we simply need a rest from all the fighting what’s in our heads. I’ve learned to find these lulls normal… a time for me to build up my strength for an even more effective push with my next effort.
I feel for ya. For so many years, I felt like it was easier to just lose the weight as well. The thing is… weight loss is hardly ever permanent unless you are going back down to your set-weight. Weight loss for many dieters is trying to get below the weight their body wants to be at… and this simply isn’t sustainable – especially beyond the 2 year mark of maintaining weight lost. It is very common for weight to be gained back plus interest. However, learning to accept your body as it wants to be and all that – that is something that is truly sustainable, which is why it is so preferable.
Besides, diets potentially can really mess up one’s health… that is just not worth it to me.
If you need any help challenging your non-acceptance thinking, we are here for you… you can always write a comment to us or an email about your struggle and we will tell you what we know.
In the meantime, understand that acceptance is a journey. It is so tempting to believe that it is supposed to be something magical that you just decide one day and from that moment on you are then perfectly happy and accepting, but it does get better in time. Try to be patient with yourself, even if you are in a lull right now in regards to the right against non-acceptance in your own mind.
Question: what do you feel is the biggest obstacle to accepting yourself without weight loss?
What you’re saying here reminds me of some of the work I’ve done in the area of anti-racism, and there is a term when people of color internalize the prejudices, stereotypes and myths about them that are prevalent in society: internalized racist inferiority.
It sounds like there is something like this for fat-phobia. Fat people internalizing the negative messages about fat people and seeing themselves through that lens.
You got it.
There is so much fat-hate in our culture… some of the most fat-hating people ARE fat people.
I like you you worded it… the whole internalizing negative messages bit.