Comments on: Where Did My Curiosity Go? http://angrygrayrainbows.wordpress.com/2009/07/09/where-did-my-curiosity-go/ Whatever Your Size - YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Mon, 28 Dec 2009 23:36:45 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Jenny Rose http://angrygrayrainbows.wordpress.com/2009/07/09/where-did-my-curiosity-go/#comment-1287 Jenny Rose Fri, 10 Jul 2009 15:48:34 +0000 http://angrygrayrainbows.wordpress.com/?p=1328#comment-1287 This is a good summary of the Trial of Socrates. It has been a long time but I think this is a start. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socrates http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socratic_Method This is a good summary of the Trial of Socrates. It has been a long time but I think this is a start.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socrates

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socratic_Method

]]> By: angrygrayrainbows http://angrygrayrainbows.wordpress.com/2009/07/09/where-did-my-curiosity-go/#comment-1286 angrygrayrainbows Fri, 10 Jul 2009 15:41:28 +0000 http://angrygrayrainbows.wordpress.com/?p=1328#comment-1286 Thank you all for your input. :) You have given me much to think about. Let me start by addressing one bit by WRT2 - oh no, you didn't delve into anything too private or anything. No worries. I'm pretty open in that regard. Twistie, You hit the nail on the head about curiosity being a big problem for me when I was living with the crazy parents. I think they beat it out of me in many ways... Regarding the class... I'm so glad you mentioned it! You validated where my mind has been going over the last few days. I want to get out and do something... maybe get more into Buddhism (not as a religion... but as a way of life and spirituality). Maybe it's time to create a Buddhist blog and get back to the temple where I met my hubby... ;) Aud, Your comment makes me wonder if there is some good book about Socrates out there. I know he wrote lots of things, but I don't know if I'm up to parsing through his old timey way of putting things. Is there some more accessible book out there about his method? From what I've known of it, it has always facinated me... probably, because (at least to some extent) his method is so difficult for me to apply! To be so open... so curious... so questioning... I'm far more used to forcing my own perceptions on the world rather than being so open to what else might be out there if I only asked... or looked... WRT2 & JennyRose, You both bring up connected (in my mind anyway) points, so I'll address it all together. :) I think it's awesome that someone out there thinks I'm curious. Okay... it's true. In some ways I am curious. In some ways, I have worked VERY VERY VERY HARD to cultivate curiosity or... sometimes... to just appear curious. When it comes to this blog and related topics, I am WAYYYYYYYY more curious than I am about anything else. These things interest me in ways that few things do. If I don't have a passionate interest in something, it is very hard for me to even give it the passing time of day. I hear this is a classic trait of ADD... those things I like, I can really get into... otherwise, foggetaboutit... I cannot begin to scratch the surface of things that do not DEEPLY interest me... I cannot even get myself to look at the surface. This became a problem in my job. I am a finance professional that thinks that the finance world is cold, heartless and otherwise idiotic. Sure, math is fun. If it was all math, there wouldn't be a problem, I'm guessing. But, finance includes a lot of ass-kissing, manipulation, dealing with sociopathic personalities and things that have nothing to do with actual science or MATH. Sheesh. Had I known that, I would've just majored in math rather than freakin' finance. Finance is so political. Yuck! Anyhoo... I was constantly being told by bosses that I didn't see things that would've interested someone who was mildly interested... I wasn't mildly interested. I was more than mildly disgusted with my job and my company and everything else... it caused problems. If I were a professional FA advocate or psychologist or something, I doubt my bosses would have the same complaints... Regarding seeing a potential lack of curiosity as acceptance... I can see that perspective as well... however, I still don't see that as a good thing really. I will tell you why. :) Going through all the crazy abuse I went through for most of my life, to survive.... to stay sane... I learned to accept the unacceptable. Part of recovering from all that is learning to not accept lots of stuff... On the other hand... as someone who appreciates Buddhism, I also can appreciate acceptance... acceptance of things that cannot be changed or acceptance of things that just ARE. Besides, how can we change anything if we don't first accept that it IS... that it exists... So, acceptance - to me - is one sticky wicket. I love it. I hate it. I try to cultivate it. I try to un-cultivate it in other areas. Maybe I am just dissecting myself too much... ARGH... i just don't know.... Thank you all for your input. :) You have given me much to think about.

Let me start by addressing one bit by WRT2 – oh no, you didn’t delve into anything too private or anything. No worries. I’m pretty open in that regard.

Twistie,
You hit the nail on the head about curiosity being a big problem for me when I was living with the crazy parents. I think they beat it out of me in many ways…
Regarding the class… I’m so glad you mentioned it! You validated where my mind has been going over the last few days. I want to get out and do something… maybe get more into Buddhism (not as a religion… but as a way of life and spirituality). Maybe it’s time to create a Buddhist blog and get back to the temple where I met my hubby… ;)

Aud,
Your comment makes me wonder if there is some good book about Socrates out there. I know he wrote lots of things, but I don’t know if I’m up to parsing through his old timey way of putting things. Is there some more accessible book out there about his method? From what I’ve known of it, it has always facinated me… probably, because (at least to some extent) his method is so difficult for me to apply! To be so open… so curious… so questioning… I’m far more used to forcing my own perceptions on the world rather than being so open to what else might be out there if I only asked… or looked…

WRT2 & JennyRose,
You both bring up connected (in my mind anyway) points, so I’ll address it all together. :)
I think it’s awesome that someone out there thinks I’m curious. Okay… it’s true. In some ways I am curious. In some ways, I have worked VERY VERY VERY HARD to cultivate curiosity or… sometimes… to just appear curious.
When it comes to this blog and related topics, I am WAYYYYYYYY more curious than I am about anything else. These things interest me in ways that few things do. If I don’t have a passionate interest in something, it is very hard for me to even give it the passing time of day. I hear this is a classic trait of ADD… those things I like, I can really get into… otherwise, foggetaboutit… I cannot begin to scratch the surface of things that do not DEEPLY interest me… I cannot even get myself to look at the surface.
This became a problem in my job. I am a finance professional that thinks that the finance world is cold, heartless and otherwise idiotic. Sure, math is fun. If it was all math, there wouldn’t be a problem, I’m guessing. But, finance includes a lot of ass-kissing, manipulation, dealing with sociopathic personalities and things that have nothing to do with actual science or MATH. Sheesh. Had I known that, I would’ve just majored in math rather than freakin’ finance. Finance is so political. Yuck! Anyhoo… I was constantly being told by bosses that I didn’t see things that would’ve interested someone who was mildly interested… I wasn’t mildly interested. I was more than mildly disgusted with my job and my company and everything else… it caused problems. If I were a professional FA advocate or psychologist or something, I doubt my bosses would have the same complaints…
Regarding seeing a potential lack of curiosity as acceptance… I can see that perspective as well… however, I still don’t see that as a good thing really. I will tell you why. :) Going through all the crazy abuse I went through for most of my life, to survive…. to stay sane… I learned to accept the unacceptable. Part of recovering from all that is learning to not accept lots of stuff…
On the other hand… as someone who appreciates Buddhism, I also can appreciate acceptance… acceptance of things that cannot be changed or acceptance of things that just ARE. Besides, how can we change anything if we don’t first accept that it IS… that it exists…
So, acceptance – to me – is one sticky wicket. I love it. I hate it. I try to cultivate it. I try to un-cultivate it in other areas.
Maybe I am just dissecting myself too much… ARGH… i just don’t know….

]]> By: Jenny Rose http://angrygrayrainbows.wordpress.com/2009/07/09/where-did-my-curiosity-go/#comment-1285 Jenny Rose Fri, 10 Jul 2009 15:06:51 +0000 http://angrygrayrainbows.wordpress.com/?p=1328#comment-1285 Just a thought - maybe you are still curious but in a more mature way. Also, if you are coming to peace with things you may no longer need to be actively curious about everything. Could you be confusing lack of curiosity with acceptance? You must be curious on some level or you wouldn't have written this post! Just a thought – maybe you are still curious but in a more mature way. Also, if you are coming to peace with things you may no longer need to be actively curious about everything. Could you be confusing lack of curiosity with acceptance?

You must be curious on some level or you wouldn’t have written this post!

]]> By: wellroundedtype2 http://angrygrayrainbows.wordpress.com/2009/07/09/where-did-my-curiosity-go/#comment-1284 wellroundedtype2 Fri, 10 Jul 2009 04:10:51 +0000 http://angrygrayrainbows.wordpress.com/?p=1328#comment-1284 AGR, you come across to me as very curious -- I don't know if this is something "natural" about you coming through or something you've cultivated. I don't mean to argue with you... how you feel inside is how you feel... but I just want to say that when you ask me questions about my life, they come across as a healthy, warm curiousity and openness. Also, your exploration of other spiritualities from the ones you were exposed to as a child comes across to me as curiosity. My observation of people who are really hard on themselves is that if there is a trait that they value (i.e. curiosity) they have a hard time seeing it in themselves, even if it's there. Maybe you feel you would be EVEN MORE curious without the pain and thwarting of this you endured, and that may well be true, but I wanted you to know that my perception of you is of someone with a healthy level of curiosity and openness. I hope this isn't too forward of me... AGR, you come across to me as very curious — I don’t know if this is something “natural” about you coming through or something you’ve cultivated. I don’t mean to argue with you… how you feel inside is how you feel… but I just want to say that when you ask me questions about my life, they come across as a healthy, warm curiousity and openness. Also, your exploration of other spiritualities from the ones you were exposed to as a child comes across to me as curiosity.
My observation of people who are really hard on themselves is that if there is a trait that they value (i.e. curiosity) they have a hard time seeing it in themselves, even if it’s there.
Maybe you feel you would be EVEN MORE curious without the pain and thwarting of this you endured, and that may well be true, but I wanted you to know that my perception of you is of someone with a healthy level of curiosity and openness.
I hope this isn’t too forward of me…

]]> By: Audrey (aka Auð) http://angrygrayrainbows.wordpress.com/2009/07/09/where-did-my-curiosity-go/#comment-1283 Audrey (aka Auð) Fri, 10 Jul 2009 01:00:56 +0000 http://angrygrayrainbows.wordpress.com/?p=1328#comment-1283 The most important thing that I think I learned from my mother is Question Everything. Most of the time it did get me in trouble...I would question rules, guidelines and such...and then the mayhem would ensue. :) I would question people why they thought a certain way...say on a political issue, and then I would think about it. I was a thinker, not a do-er as a kid. I got a vicarious thrill out of reading about people like Socrates...a bright man who could out think many of his peers. A man who did not conform to social ideals (he was unattractive in a culture that was obsessed with male beauty). His Socratic Method exposed the thoughts and feelings behind a statement - and is still used today. The way he dug deeper into issues, bringing up new and interesting ideas using his method, inspired me to start questioning again; becoming more curious! Hope this is useful to you....:D The most important thing that I think I learned from my mother is Question Everything. Most of the time it did get me in trouble…I would question rules, guidelines and such…and then the mayhem would ensue. :)

I would question people why they thought a certain way…say on a political issue, and then I would think about it. I was a thinker, not a do-er as a kid. I got a vicarious thrill out of reading about people like Socrates…a bright man who could out think many of his peers. A man who did not conform to social ideals (he was unattractive in a culture that was obsessed with male beauty). His Socratic Method exposed the thoughts and feelings behind a statement – and is still used today.
The way he dug deeper into issues, bringing up new and interesting ideas using his method, inspired me to start questioning again; becoming more curious!

Hope this is useful to you….:D

]]> By: Twistie http://angrygrayrainbows.wordpress.com/2009/07/09/where-did-my-curiosity-go/#comment-1281 Twistie Thu, 09 Jul 2009 19:26:13 +0000 http://angrygrayrainbows.wordpress.com/?p=1328#comment-1281 I don't have a lot of help to offer on the question of how to reconnect with your curiosity, but I've known several survivors of abuse, and most of them have used the same coping mechanism of simply not being curious to at least some extent. Curiosity for them, as it was for you, was simply an invitation to more pain, more manipulation, and more misery. I think it's at least a not uncommon coping mechanism. Call your cousin. I think it will probably do both of you some real good. You know, I might have one suggestion for helping to jump start your curiosity. Maybe you could take a class that requires some active searching for answers on your part, say something like an acting course or a debate club. Or if you'd rather work on your own, try to come up with a subject you know little or nothing about and start researching it. It's amazing what you can learn once you start asking questions. Best of luck in your efforts. I don’t have a lot of help to offer on the question of how to reconnect with your curiosity, but I’ve known several survivors of abuse, and most of them have used the same coping mechanism of simply not being curious to at least some extent. Curiosity for them, as it was for you, was simply an invitation to more pain, more manipulation, and more misery. I think it’s at least a not uncommon coping mechanism.

Call your cousin. I think it will probably do both of you some real good.

You know, I might have one suggestion for helping to jump start your curiosity. Maybe you could take a class that requires some active searching for answers on your part, say something like an acting course or a debate club. Or if you’d rather work on your own, try to come up with a subject you know little or nothing about and start researching it. It’s amazing what you can learn once you start asking questions.

Best of luck in your efforts.

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