You can’t have it both ways

Ah, the wisdom from my husband.  This man is the love of my life.  Yes we squabble and we’ve actually been through the marriage from hell and come out on the other end of it.  Although we still don’t see eye to eye on some things, he’s pretty much my port in a storm.

Although I’ve come to a point in my life where fat acceptance and living intuitively have finally taken hold, I still have times (though very few anymore) where a glitch might occur.  That’s to be expected I think.  One of those glitches came last night.

My husband and I have what I would consider to be a very normal sex life.  We love each other very much and we express it in various ways and we are not lacking in our sexual encounters.  I won’t say we’ve never had “issues” in this department because we’ve had major issues with this but it seems that everything is going pretty great at the moment (I attribute a lot of it to my change in attitude toward myself).  Last night I asked my husband what he found sexy about me and I won’t bore you (or excite you) with the details but it did come out that I would like to be thinner for our sex life.  That led to talk of dieting and also of my accepting myself as I am.

At that point in the conversation, my husband turned to me and point blank said, “you can’t have it both ways.”  Can I tell you again how much I love this man?  I truly do.  He was not at all telling me to diet and lose weight.  He told me he loves me and has always loved me and my size has nothing to do with his love for me.  He was essentially telling me to accept myself and be done with it.  He told me I’m much harder on myself than anyone else could be and he’s right.  He also told me that he had noticed some really nice changes in me since I’ve been approaching things in light of accepting myself.  (so it DOES work!) 

I may struggle with diet thoughts again in the future but I think him calling me on it this time has done wonders for me.  He couldn’t be more right because dieting does not go with self-acceptance.  Loving yourself, movement and tasty food coincide with self-acceptance…not deprivation, labeled foods that are good and bad and beating yourself up when you feel you failed.

Just remember, “you can’t have it both ways!”

~sas