Archive for March, 2009


So if you’ve been following along, my mini-vacation from work starts tomorrow. I have fudged a bit and sort of started it today. Both bosses are gone and I have the office to myself. I’ve got my XM going on the computer and it’s cranked up loud and I’m having a great time getting some last minute things organized so I don’t have to worry about them.

Everyone knows from the parking lot when my bosses aren’t here and they come up and talk to me (if I’m not busy I really enjoy it!) when I’m by myself. I get to catch up on everyone and how work is going outside of my cubicle.

Today, someone came to my office and said he was going to a pancake breakfast fund raiser and asked if I wanted him to bring me a plate back to work. I thought (I wish I could say I thought long and hard), and I thought, “I have not had pancakes in a long time!” and I told him yes. You guys, he brought me three lovely fluffy pancakes with bacon AND sausage and plenty of butter and syrup. OMG! I was in heaven! What a perfect way to get my vacation started!

I started thinking about what was so special about pancakes and I quickly went back in time when I was young and living at home. I don’t have a lot of fond memories of my father but him standing in the kitchen making pancakes is definitely a fond memory.

My father was in the Air Force for 20 years and in that time he was away from us a lot and he learned to cook for himself and he could fix a mean breakfast. What was so great about his pancakes was you never knew what he was going to put in them. He did the traditional pancakes and sometimes he would add blueberries or pecans but my favorite were his vanilla or maple pancakes and sometimes his peanut butter pancakes. I would wait at the table for my pancakes and he would serve me mine and then sit down with me to eat his. Good memories!

So back to the pancakes in general…this morning I realized I placed a lot of importance on the fact that I “hadn’t had pancakes in so long” and you know what that sounds like to me? “I’ve been so good not to have fattening pancakes.” Or “Do I deserve to eat pancakes?” Or even “It’s a special time, the beginning of my vacation, so I’ll have pancakes to celebrate.”

Why do I base my goodness on what I do or don’t eat? Why do I think I don’t deserve pancakes? Why do I have to wait for celebratory times to eat the foods I like? SKEWED THINKING! FORTY-SOMETHING YEARS OF SKEWED THINKING! So I haven’t got my new acceptance thinking down pat yet but I’m catching myself more and more along the way. It may take me a while but I’m on the right road.

Again I say, “Thank God for pancakes!”


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scratch_my_second_rat_by_blackdr4gon1ED Bites has posted some neat snippets of an article about rats and baboons coping with stress…

Tantilizing snippet (so, ya know… go to ED Bites and see the rest! ):

[H]is research, combined with a rich background provided by other scientists, has led him to figure out a bunch of very basic tips to help us cope with stress:

  • An outlet or hobby. Rats who could gnaw on a piece of wood after receiving a very mild shock didn’t develop any stress-related diseases, while those with no way to “cope” with the stress did develop diseases (ulcers, high blood pressure, etc).
  • Predictability. If the rats received a brief warning that the shock was going to happen, even if they couldn’t avoid it, they did not develop stress-related diseases.

Hmmm… now to find myself some wood to gnaw…


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the_yogurt_monster_by_shareephelDo you ever eat too fast?  I’ve been eating too fast for pretty much my whole life.  Even in recovering from the eating disorders, I’ve still been an annoyingly fast eater.  It wouldn’t bother me to eat too fast if it didn’t often give me tummy problems or cause me to overeat… and overeating for me (even just a little bit), usually results in nausea, so it’s something I would really rather avoid. 

I have literally spent years trying to get myself to not only delve into the deeper ends of hunger and then when I do eat – eat slowly.  Oh, silly me.  😉  My therapist has been telling me for years that I wait too long to eat… that I let my hunger get too far.  For a long time, I didn’t know what else to do but ignore this advice.  Other than extreme hunger, I didn’t really feel hunger.  However, this has changed.  I have been able to see all different kinds of shades of hunger for quite a while now… and it struck me yesterday that maybe I can finally put my therapist’s observation to work. 

I started by observing how I eat normally.  Normally, I wait too long and then end up eating too fast and sometimes too much.  I may notice a hunger signal at noon, but will find eating “inconvenient” until it gets so bad I can no longer function without food.  Here’s where the eating too fast comes in. 

I also have noticed that when I don’t wait until hunger is so ridiculously urgent that I then find it easy to eat slowly and savor the food… and I usually avoid the usual tummy problems I get from scarfing my food down. 

I’m realizing that it is HARD to remember not to let myself get too hungry.  It’s such an ingrained habit for me.  I ate breakfast too little and too late… so I ended up scarfing lunch.  A little while after lunch, I realize I’m still hungry, but not URGENTLY hungry… not the crazy, painful hungry that I usually make myself wait for.  So, I have taken the opportunity to give myself some more nourishment.  😀  And, yeah…eating before insane hunger is beautiful.  Savoring my banana vanilla yogurt is no struggle.  Yet, the struggle to try to get myself to eat at a decent pace when I’m super hungry… it’s insanely difficult… in fact, impossible.  I’ve learned through years of experience that expecting myself to eat at a slower pace while being very hungry just isn’t realistic. 

Have you guys experienced this process?  Have you noticed eating fast causes you problems?  Have you managed to slow down?  If so, how?  If not… where are you struggling?  Share your story! 


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stop_obesity_by_martinkulotLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL… I was looking for a pic for a shout-out to A Day in the Fat Life’s neat post and found this gem over to the left… hahahahahaha…

If broken see-saws are such a tragedy, why not make them sturdier and more appropriately sized for today’s children who are larger than generations past (ya know… one generation is generally larger -height, build, weight – than the last_???  *headdesk*

Anyhoo… back to ADITFL’s awesomeness… she posted up this beautiful video of a guy who is probably morbidly obese doing the most awesome gymnast routine.  Yeah, I am sure that he should be ashamed of his sedentary life style and lack of fitness.  *headdesk*



Commentor Lalaroo has offered a link showing the fat gymnast is a guy in a fat suit.  Oh well… at least the see-saw bit is still sharp.  😉

HotMama: you were definitely right about smelling a rat!  Thank you for the head’s up as well.

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Hormones are raging!

So at 45 years old I have decided to start the birth control pill once again. I gave my body a break for a couple of years and I’m ready for the regularity and spontanaety of being back on the pill. I’m on the third week of my first pack and, as usual, I’m experiencing all the lovely side effects…spotting, cramping, headaches, moodiness, etc…

I honestly believe they should prescribe me double anti-depressants when I’m starting the pill. My husband has been so understanding and knows that my hormones are all over the place right now but I got to tell ya, I’ve been the bitch from hell! I’ve thrown myself pity parties, I’ve isolated myself and I’ve craved chocolate like crazy. Chocolate isn’t even a favorite of mine. 😦

I look forward to that third pack of pills because I figure that’ll be when I start acting human again!

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kim-kardashian-photoshopped-complexI don’t know much about Kim Kardashian… but I did catch some recent photos that were released from Complex.com showing her before and after photoshopped pics for a magazine. 

OMG, get your helmets!!!!  CELLULITE!!!!  <<cowers in corner with helmet and axe awaiting rampage of evil cellulite>> 

Kim responded:

…I’m proud of my body and my curves and this picture coming out is probably helpful for everyone to see that just because I am on the cover of a magazine doesn’t mean I’m perfect.

While I think it would be really lovely if a celeb refused to be photoshopped, I think the way Kim responded in a pretty cool way.  I think it’s a shame that as amazingly gorgeous as she is that she still has to be chopped up via photoshop for some magazine cover.  I wish more lumpy thighs were shown in the media, so women like me who have them don’t feel like such freaks of nature. 

It goes to show what an unrealistically “perfection” obsessed culture we are that a woman that looks like Kim Kardashian has to stand up for her own body… sad, really.  How much harder is it for the average woman to love her body in this environment? 

As I say often, but never often enough… 😉  Whatever your size and whoever you are – you are beautiful!!!  I challenge you, friends and readers, to own your beauty… as I try to own my own.  😉 



Courtesy of the F-Word… more from Kardashian that doesn’t make her seem so cool about her thighs.  Sigh.  How disappointing…

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*Headdesk*… link here.

Do you wanna know how many calories your friend ate at lunch?  Just read his/her twitter! 

While a food diary can be a helpful thing, somehow I’m skeptical that posting one’s food journal to everyone you know is going to be a great step towards public health.  The first thing that occurred to me is that it will allow for twitter calorie restriction competitions.  Fun.  (not)

Don’t we obsess enough about what we eat in this culture without twittering our every eaten morsel?  Hah.


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