I love jelly beans so much! I love Easter time solely because jelly beans are plentiful all over town and are on sale! Brach’s Jelly Beans! I love every color/flavor and could eat them for days on end. I’m blessed to have a boss who loves jelly beans almost as much as I do. March rolls around and I make my bi-weekly run to Walgreens to get my Brach’s jelly beans which are on sale. My boss has a little container that I keep full of jelly beans through the months of March and April. He picks out the black ones and I take them because as I said before, I LOVE THEM ALL!
Yesterday was the day I headed to Walgreens to get my jelly beans. I left home after lunch and headed right for the store, went straight to the aisle the jb’s were on and got three bags…three lovely bags that automatically fit anywhere you put them because the jb’s float around in the package and settle where they need to. I head to the checkout, and yes the cashier knows me by now, and I put my jb’s and other assorted stuff on the counter. She rings me up, I head to the car and drive on to work.
I got to work and went into my office with my bag of various goodies. This is where you can really tell my loyalty to my beloved jb’s! I’m opening a bag of delicious Brach’s jelly beans and my other boss comes in my office and says, “don’t open those!” Ok, hold on one dang minute! Don’t open them? Are you kidding me? Then he says those dreaded words, “you can’t put those out because I’m ON A DIET!”
Yes, my sub-boss is on Weight Watchers and ever since he joined he’s kept me informed on how much weight he has lost, what he ate last night for dinner, how much water he’s drank and what online recipes he’s tried. All this information has come to me unsolicited and I’ve been patient to listen and not tell him what I really think of diets. I’ve seen this man, over the last seven years, lose and gain probably 60 pounds. I’ve told myself that he is just being swayed to believe, as most of society does, that diets work and losing weight will cure all his ills. But yesterday he crossed the line!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU DON’T MESS WITH ME AND MY JELLY BEANS! I will put up with a lot of crap from a lot of people for the sake of avoiding conflict and confrontation but when you say I can’t have my jelly beans then you need to re-evaluate how badly you want to piss me off!
I even surprised myself by my response to my sub-boss. He said, “don’t put those out. You can’t put those out because I’m on a diet.” I looked him squarely in the eye, raised up my bag of jelly beans so he would not miss seeing me purposefully overexaggerating the action of opening my bag of jelly beans, and I said, “this is MY office and you don’t have to come in here! I’ll put them in my office if I want to. I’M not on a diet.” YOU DON’T MESS WITH ME AND MY JELLY BEANS!
Was he happy with me? Probably not. Do I care? Definitely not. Why? Because JELLY BEANS RULE!!!!!!!
~sas
Angry Gray Rainbows 
Heh. I was just eating some sour Jelly Bellies when I read this. Anyway, what’s with these control freaks and their no-candy-dish rules? Nobody’s going to FORCE you to eat the damn candy, geez. (And why do they think everyone wants a blow-by-blow of their latest weight-loss regime without being asked?)
I second what Meowser said! Ooooohhhh… candy is so diabolically evil… it will hypnotize me into eating it before I know it! OMG Gahhhhh! Hah.
Enjoy your jelly beans, Sassy.
If this guy is afraid of JELLY BEANS… seriously… how screwed up are his priorities! LOL
Really! What is up with that? I don’t need/want to know that you lost 5.5 pounds the first week and 5.6 pounds the next. I sometimes think he wants to share this to make him look more virtuous and “right”. What I’d really like to tell him is “you have yelled and me and belittled me in public at work and losing 10 pounds doesn’t make you any less of a jerk!”
Too much? heh heh
I loved your reply to him. Good for you!!
Thanks Peg. It felt good to stand up for myself.
Right… the nimrod has treated you like crap and somehow 5.6 pounds of weight loss makes him some kinda angel. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
I always laugh when people tell me they lost X.Y pounds… Seriously… to be that obsessed that you know what FRACTION OF A POUND you lost when a normal human body fluctuates normally anyway seems about as purposeful as my basing my success and/or value by how much my hair grew last night while I was sleeping.
What’s really sad is that not only this guy missing out on awesome jelly beans… AND, not only is this guy wasting a whole freakin’ lot of time counting fractions of pounds and thinking about weight loss – ultimately, this diet of his is most likely to make his health WORSE than it is now – not better. And, of course, the ultimate irony is that diets are really effective at changing weight, if you want to gain it… but I’m pretty sure that’s not what he’s going for. This guy is making his own bed and sooner or later, he’ll have to lie in it. That’s not virtue. That is self-destruction for the sake of an unrealistic ideal.