DO NOT!!!… think about elephants…

Have you ever told yourself NOT to think about something?  I’m sure we all have at one point or another.  How did it work for you?

So, right now I’m slowly (so to soak in as much as possible) “the Happiness Hypothesis” by Jonathan Haidt.  The boyfriend recommended it and so far it’s been an interesting read.  Recently, I got to a part that explains something I’ve been butting my head up against my whole life… telling myself NOT to think something.  And, ya know… my using the “do not press the green button” photo on my Thought Contradictions post brought all this to mind and how it might make a neat post.  So, thanks again to commentor h0tm0mma who has started this avalanche of ideas!

According to Haidt, when a person tells themself to not think about something…. they are basically asking for the impossible.  In order to not think about something, the brain also much somehow monitor if you’re thinking about that thing.  That means, every now and then, one must ask the question (on some level), “Am I thinking about elephants?”  Darn!  Guess what?  You were.  Telling yourself not to think about something can cause a person to think even MORE about those things.

I remember when I first started trying to unlearn all my prejudices about fat people.  I realized that it was so internalized that sometimes on seeing a really fat cat, I would start smelling ham.  *headdesk*  At first, I told myself not to think that fat people are lazy, undisciplined, etc.  I told myself not to see the fat person in the mirror (that would be me) and automatically go into thoughts about how disappointing I am because I’m fat and how I’ll never be worthy of love as long as I looked this way.  Telling myself not to think these things, of course, caused me to think them even more.  LOL

Which brings me to the point of this point…. if telling yourself not to think something doesn’t work… what does?  Personally, I find it far more helpful to add new thoughts in rather than to try to make myself not think the old ones.  So, instead of telling myself that fat is not “immoral”…. I told myself that fat people are wonderful and diverse just like anyone else.  See the diff?  Instead of trying to create a void (not think about something), I have added something new in – the positive thoughts that I want to add into my everyday brain burblings. 

In many ways, frankly, I think Dr. Phil is an idiot…. and an exploitative jerk.  But, I’ve also learned that hardly anything I come across in this life is 100% bad.  Dr. Phil taught me something.  Years ago, he put out his first diet book… I can’t even remember what it was called… but I remember him saying that it is more effective to add new behaviors in than to try to get yourself to abstain from the old ones.  Why?  Cuz ONLY abstaining leaves this gaping hole and the most natural way to fill it is through the old behaviors.  To prevent this, add new ones to prevent the gaping whole effect.  Neat, eh? 

I know that many of my readers and commentors will find this post to be simple Recovery 101 stuff that they have known for years.  Yeah…. for me it is too… however, right now, I am also finding great value in refreshing the basics and so I shall.  I hope you guys find value in any of the old school stuff I throw out as well.  😉

Are you thinking about elephants?  Or are you just watching clouds go by?  😀

Screw trying to control thoughts… I’ve found this to be an impossible task anyway.  Why not bask in the cuteness of this lil feller…

 

Richard, my sweet nerd (and boyfriend)… if you are reading this…. I want one of these (above) for my birthday.  K.  Thx.

–AngryGrayRainbows