When I think about the changes I’ve made in the past three years, my mind goes back to the first books I read that started me on my road to intuitive eating. The author who made such a huge impact on me was Geneen Roth. I can never say enough great things about this woman and her books. There are other books in my collection that mean a lot to me for different reasons but when I think back to my beginnings of self-acceptance and intuitive eating, I think of Ms. Roth.
The books by Ms. Roth were where I first heard about legalizing foods. OMG! Eating whatever I wanted? (I’m not going into the other crucial things like eating without distraction, eating when hungry and stopping when full, I’m just focusing solely on legalization in this post.) I loved legalizing foods! Or at least I thought I loved legalizing foods. Truth be told, I just loved eating everything. I missed out on what I’ve only just now figured out is the real meaning of legalizing foods.
Legalizing foods. “L-E-G-A-L-I-Z-I-N-G”
I’m almost embarrassed that this just hit me but I’ve gone about this the wrong way. Sure, I’ve gone out and bought my favorite foods – pop tarts and tater tots! – I’ve eaten pop tarts and tater tots to the point of not wanting another pop tart ot tater tot for a long time. BUT I didn’t really legalize them. To legalize them would mean to take the guilty stigma off of them…not eat them until I get sick of them. I still see brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts and tater tots as “bad” foods only to be eaten in secret. That’s not legalizing. Legalizing them would be to have them in the house in multiple quantities and not be afraid of them.
This may seem very remedial to some but, for me, this is a huge breakthrough! I’m actually quite excited to have made this discovery. For a split second I got really disappointed in myself for feeling like I was starting this all over again and then I got excited all over again…I’m grasping things now for the first time!! It may be the first time but the point is, I’m grasping things!
~sas
Angry Gray Rainbows 
Sounds like you got some cause for some major celebration!!! That is a really important realization!!! Whoooooo hoooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
I think like a lot of things in Recovery that letting go of the guilt of eating is something that is discovered and then rediscovered over the years. Every now and then (for example last week for me) I catch myself getting all guilty for eating any food or something that our culture deems “bad.” I think when you’ve been immersed in these ideas for our whole lives that the thinking can creep back, but we can always rediscover and recommit ourselves to legalization and letting go of shame and all that. I think the real trick to successful recovery is endurance and not judging the ups and downs… cuz learning is all about ups and downs and rediscovering and recommitting… at least this is what I think. 😉
I remember once that FillyJonk posted something that was something like… why the give ourselves so much trouble about food when there are so many more important things in the world. (I also remember that she joked that one of these things were the mythical manticore… lol… sounds like something I would say…but humor aside…) It’s an awesome point to remember. Sometimes it makes me giggle to remember this after I’ve been giving myself guilt over food…. ya know… the fuel we need to survive.
BUT I didn’t really legalize them. To legalize them would mean to take the guilty stigma off of them…not eat them until I get sick of them.
Wow! that really hits home for me too. Thanks for that, I think I just had an “aha” moment.
Yay Stacia! I know you’re replying to Sas, but I also wanted to stop by and celebrate your “aha.” I this this particular “aha” that you and Sas are having at almost the same time is one of the most crucial to self-acceptance. Bravo to everyone!!!!!!