Commentor Dedabets inspired me to post a link to an awesome WellRoundedType2 post that I believe I have linked to before about transcending negative feelings about fat while dancing. You can find that awesome post here.
WRT2 talks about envisioning her fat as full of love, which is frickin’ brilliant! I have taken this same idea and I envision my fat as full of whatever it is I need at the moment… maybe it is full of competence, because I want to feel capable or maybe I want to feel like it is full of wisdom. This helps me combats the thoughts that my fat makes me stupid and completely ineffective. 😉 It might be something to try!
–AngryGrayRainbows
Angry Gray Rainbows 
Awww, thanks! Here’s a little update:
Since that dance, there has been much more dancing. I signed up for a 5 Rhythms class, which is just the right form for me right now, and a very safe community in which to explore. I’m not the only fat person in the class. I am just learning so much, and finding ways to use breath and movement to counter the neroutic and anxious thoughts.
Over time, there has been a huge decrease in the “bad body thoughts” while dancing and an increased focus on the movement itself and exploring what my body can do, how it can move, how to put myself where I want to be in space.
If there were some way to manage it, I would go to three of these classes a week — and maybe I will over the summer.
I have also focused on facing my fears and “sending out love” in other situations, or using breath to take in something (like grace when I’m feeling ungraceful) and to blow out or away some old hurt. There are many other ways I’m exploring using movement to heal, too.
Sometimes I fantasize about performance, but I’ll give myself some more time before tackling that.
Last night, at the dance class, there was this vase filled with branches full of new leaves and it was so beautiful, the branching branches, the leaves with their fingers, the fingers with their fringes — and I felt very much like that, like I was just expanding in every direction, creatively, and sometimes I feel anxious or frustrated because there isn’t time to do everything I want to do or feel compelled to do, but to see a reflection in nature of that feeling was reassuring and hopeful.
So, thanks for the opportunity to reflect. I hope if there are people out there afriad to try some new form of momement, that the image of me combatting the fear with love acts as reassurance that it is possible to take on fear safely.
WRT2, you are an inspiration to me and I am sure many other folks as well!
Maybe you noticed this, but I’m gonna point it out just in case you or anyone else reading this would benefit from the POV… it seems to me that the bad body thoughts are losing power over you as you take energy away from the fat-fear-fantasies and invest more energy into just having fun and moving your body and learning how to get it to do all these neat things. Yay for taking away the fuel source for bbts and using that energy for something self-loving!!!