What an amazing image, yes? I love it… it brings to mind a different meaning of “woman” than I am going to pull apart in this post…
I went to Target today and realized that all the plus-size clothes in my store is under the banner of “women.” Then I thought about how Tyra Banks and Janice Dickenson call the models “girls” – no matter what their ages are – on their shows. I remembered that as a child, “women” seemed like a dirty word in terms of fashion or clothes. The women’s section where I grew up was full of really unflattering clothes and a high rate of mumus. Sigh…
It reminds me of the eating disordered years that I wanted to look like a 12-yr-old. I wanted never to age. I didn’t want womanly hips or breasts or anything else associated with womanhood. It all added up to mumus in my mind… and isolation… and being bullied…I thought about all the women who do horrible things to themselves so that they can forever fit into the junior’s section to avoid the “horrid” label of “woman,” when they are not naturally that small.
For years, I could not use the word “woman.” I used “girl,” “gal” or “chick” mostly. I thought it was definitely weird that I didn’t use this word that other people used so easily, but I couldn’t figure out why. I think I had very much connected the meaning of woman with someone who cannot find flattering clothes… someone who is alienated by fashion designers… someone who is deemed as gluttonous, unhealthy, lazy and irrelevant. At the same time, I had girlfriends who would great me with “woman!!” sometimes and that never bothered me. I sensed that they didn’t use it in the loaded way the word existed in my head, so it didn’t bother me. Over the past couple of years, I’ve worked consciously to use the word WOMAN and to realize that the word can mean so many things, not just the things I thought it meant as a kid.
When I went on DeviantArt to find a picture for this post, I found all sorts of positive images under the search term “women.” I’m glad to see that not everyone holds that distorted definition I clung to for too many years to heart. I was a very isolated child and lived in a very isolated area on top of that… I think that accounts for some of the strange conclusions I came to in my formative years. I also wonder if other women have trouble with the word “women” as well… anyone? Anyone else been there or still there?
Today, I am able to most of the time think of the word “woman” or “women” as a positive term. Coming to this point has been a big thing for me. What a wonderful and freeing thing to no longer fear womanhood and to appreciate women of all shapes and sizes! Thank goodness for places like Adipositivity and Torid and places like those for showing more diversity of womanhood and reminding me that I don’t have to look like a 12-yr-old to be truly feminine.
To end… here’s another pic I found on DeviantArt that I find so lovely… my heart gets all warm gazing at it:
–AngryGrayRainbows
Angry Gray Rainbows 
I have a hard time referring to myself as a woman. For me, the word woman means being an adult, being strong. Sometimes I also connect it with being married (I’m single, and a majority of my friends are married or in serious long term relationships). I look at being a woman as a place I haven’t arrived at yet. I’ll look at myself and think “I’m almost 24 years old, but I’m not a woman. I still see a girl when I look in the mirror, a girl trying to be a woman.” And then there are times when I don’t even know what being a woman means. The whole idea of being a woman and womanhood is so confusing to me sometimes, so I just refer to myself as a girl, even though I feel like I’m well beyond the place where I would be considered a girl (turning 24 in a month).
This reminds me a bit of a roommate I had back in college who felt woman was a rude word, she used female instead, which I felt was peculiar.
I know the military tends to call women – “females.” Did your roommate have any military ties?
But yeah… it sounds so sterile to call women “females.” Though, sometimes I catch myself using that term… usually when I’m trying not to say “chick” or “girl” and can’t remember that I like to use the word “women” and memories of bootcamp and screaming drill sergeants saying “female” all the time pops into my head.
yeah, Charlotte hit on my problems with the term woman. I don’t feel like a grown up. Despite the fact that I’m 27 and have lived on my own for years. And to me, being a grown up is a very big part of getting to use the word woman. It’s why I honestly have a problem when people use that term to refer to high schooler students and young college students in general(I know there are some high school students who truly have dealt with adult things that would break me. I’m trying to not erase them. However, I do think they’re the minority, so the term is inappropriate for general high school students). A big part of it for me is being in school fulltime constantly. And maybe you never truly feel like a grown up. Maybe everyone sees a girl trying to be a woman. but I always feel like a fake when I use the word to apply to me.
Female does sound a bit detached and scientific.
I have tried to erase the word girl and use the word woman when referring to an adult female. I get where your connotations come from. It is not all JR and PLUS sizes. Don’t forget MISSES. That sounds bad too which is why it is hardly used any more for customers. It is only a business term now. Is there any name for MISSES now? What is the customer facing term for straight sizes?
I see misses labeled in most stores. maybe I’m not shopping at trendy enough places? Though I usually have to do petites, which is a whole other headache.
I’ve seen the label “missy” over clothes size sections at some stores… I can’t remember which one… off the top of my head, I want to say JCPenney…?
I had a terrible childhood, it caused me tow ant to grow up too fast. I was really happy that some people thought I looked like 24 when I was 16. I longed to be a woman; to me it meant that I would not be belittled any more. Which is of course not true. Just go to a hardware store and the way the people there pronounce the word lady just means they think I know nothing. meh. I’m sorry I can’t sympathise with your side of the story. The word woman can mean a lot of different things indeed.
I understand the way you feel about the word “woman”. I remember, like Charlotte, feeling that I was a girl masquerading as a woman. Especially in the military, where they try to make everyone look the same, it was like I was androgynous AND feminine at the same time. Like this statement:
“Yeah, she’s a marine. But a FEMALE marine.”
As if, somehow, we were something different. Something LESS.
And then, there were times when I just wanted to scream to my work crew” YES! I HAVE A UTERUS! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE AND STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT HOW WOMEN THINK AND WHAT TO GET YOUR WIFE FOR HER BIRTHDAY, ANNIVERSARY, OR WHATEVER!” They just treated me as a man; one of the guys…until they had a question about what their girlfriend/wife was thinking. THEN I became a FEMALE.
I think, over time, that I have grown into the word “woman”. I think “woman” (and “man” for that matter)has more to do with maturity than with physiology. How do we determine maturity? Well, perception is reality…
One of my favorite paintings is ‘Venus at the Mirror’ by Peter Paul Rubens:
http://www.mezzo-mondo.com/arts/mm/rubens/RUP006.html
oh, and another one by Pierre Auguste Renoir called ‘The Large Bathers:
http://www.humanitiesweb.org/human.php?s=g&p=c&a=p&ID=8592
The women in these paintings are so casual about their beauty, so confident. THAT is woman.