You are a goddess

It’s been a really hard couple of weeks. Within these weeks, there have been a really hard few days. On those days, I have sometimes remembered to pray. To who, or what, is hard to say, sort of, like AGR. But the plea just goes out there.

Last night, I found myself praying through dance. And who, or what, I was praying to, was the Shechina, or the Jewish concept of the feminine aspect of god. There are many perspectives on the Shechina, but for me, the divine feminine force is what I was longing to feel close to.

I felt that longing also on Sunday, and there’s this woman who dances, and teaches dance, who from the first time I saw her, seemed at once familiar and mysterious. She had this openness and unaffected beauty that was so compelling, and yet, not outwardly focused. She danced in a way I found compelling, sexy, beautiful and free. Over time, our paths have continued to cross more and on Sunday, I found myself sitting cross legged across from her, holding her hands, while out of my mouth poured this confession to her: When I look at her, she is the image of the Shechina to me. It’s true, somehow, as a child, when I pictured the Shechina, she is exactly what I pictured. And she told me that she was in fact struggling with connecting with her feminine aspect, and this touched her deeply. And she said this to me in return:

“When you first started dancing here, I said to [the instructor, who is a friend of hers and someone she teaches with],’who IS that new woman, she’s like a GODDESS.’ and he said, ‘oh, I know who you are talking about.’ ”

I couldn’t help it, I rolled my eyes. But she stopped me, and said that what I saw in her was a mirror.

And she was right. And it touched me deeply. In fact, I keep rolling it around in my mind the way I might savor a particularly delicious hard candy in my mouth, slowly, repeatedly. A GODDESS. Me. Yes. Verified, validated, confirmed.

So, I’m passing this along. This challenge, which SassyBlonde started with her Recovery Goddess post, is to see the goddess in you. (This exercise isn’t just for women, either.)