That picture pretty much sums it up. That is me pretty much all the time. Nearly every day.
Since I was in junior high, I have had all sorts of tests to find out what the heck is wrong with me. (Heart tests, swallowing scopes to explore my digestive system TWICE, upper GI tests, blood tests, etc.) Since I was a pre-teen, I have been told that there is nothing wrong with me (except depression). Every few years, I get frustrated enough to go to yet another doctor and try some new tests. In recent years, they have started to suggest IBS to me. The diagnosis of exclusion.
It is likely enough. Depression, chronic anxiety and chronic fatigue (all of which I have) are highly correlated with IBS. But, I have ignored all suggestions of this diagnosis for years now. Perhaps it is time I attend to reality…
But, I had my reasons. Everything I’ve ever seen on IBS management is mostly diet based and it’s a diet that I cannot imagine following:
- No/Low Caffeine
- No/Low Alcohol
- No/Low Chocolate
- No/Low Sugar
- No/Low Dairy
Well, WTF… that is just about everything I eat.
I am a vegetarian, because I love animals. I will eat a minimal amount of fish, so I’m not “pure” vegetarian, but there it is. I avoid meat and only eat fish a few times a month at most. I only eat what little fish that I do eat for the sake of my health. I feel a lot better if I eat it.
Many (well, most) fruits and vegetables make me sick. Yup, they actually trigger my IBS symptoms. I can handle some vegetables if they are boiled beyond recognition, but I am no cook and have had a lot of trouble finding places that will serve me this kind of food. Anyway, it is generally better to avoid fiber all together as I suffer from daily diarrhea that only gets better or worse and never ever truly goes away. I could live on cheese and my digestive system still behaves as if I’m abusing laxatives (I’ve never taken a laxative in my life!).
Thanks to lifelong depression, I am a pretty low energy person. Caffeine is crucial. While my ADHD meds help both my fatigue and my ADHD symptoms, it is not enough on its own. I need my caffeine. I am not sure how I would achieve anything without it, even though I admit it very much triggers my IBS symptoms.
Sometimes sugar is just about all my stomach can handle. Sometimes anything else in my stomach makes me feel like my stomach is never going to empty and I end up spending a day or two nauseas and wishing I could just vomit. It is far more productive to just eat the sugar (candy, pastries, whatever) and deal with the sugar crashes and feelings of malnourishment than to spend a full day or two trying to push through nausea and the extra fatigue that comes with feeling that sick.
While I am lactose intolerant, I can tolerate some small amounts of dairy and those small amounts are crucial considering how limited my diet already is.
In previous years, I have been too diet fatigued and not strong enough in my eating disorder recovery to mess around with food journals and the like, but I am feeling like I might be able to do this now. Maybe… but I’m not sure that it’s worth it. I fear working with a professional to help me limit triggers might just take away the few things that help me right now. My frustration over all this is enough to throw me into tears any time I think about it seriously.
I can normally handle a fat-hating doctor pretty well, but add to the scenario my already very emotional frustration with this (likely) IBS and I’m not sure I’ll have the fortitude to fight for myself the way I need to.
So. F*ing. Frustrating.
I don’t know what to do, but I feel the need to do something. Maybe I will just try food journaling on my own for bit. But, just about everything makes me sick, so I don’t really see the point. Gah.
So here you go fat-hating trolls. Here is a fat person who doesn’t like eating. I don’t ever remember really liking eating. If I could get all the nourishment I needed in a pill, I would take it and avoid all this digestive drama. I am so sick of being sick.
I think I’ll go cry now.
–AngryGrayRainbows
Angry Gray Rainbows 
Have you ever been tested for gluten intolerance? Just throwing it out there.
hope you feel better. ❤
Yup. I had an intestinal biopsy and everything. Wheat bread still makes me super sleepy though.
Thanks for the thoughts though, Jen.
Have you ever been tested for fructose malabsorption? IANAD but it’s a real thing that is sometimes the underlying problem behind frustrating cases of IBS. A friend of mine just found out she has it. I don’t think the dietary restrictions are any fun, but at least you’d know what the problem is. You get checked using something called a “hydrogen breath test”.
I have not been tested for this. Perhaps when I am feeling strong enough to face another doctor (and the “do you know how much you weigh??” talk) I will ask for this. I’ve read about this before and do consistently have problems with some of the fruits they list as problematic to people with this disease… but there are a bunch of them that I have no problem with at all. And then regarding HFCS, it really depends on the mood of my stomach that day. Mostly, I’d rather avoid it, because it makes me feel icky… but sometimes I am so sick it is the only thing my stomach can handle… and then I end up living on Dots and the like until I feel better. So, it doesn’t seem like I fit the bill exactly… but who knows.
I totally understand being fat and not wanting to eat – I have the same problem, only I haven’t even bothered to get a diagnosis for my explosive bouts of diarrhea. I know what triggers them most of the time, and stay away from those foods, most of the time. Yeah, it leaves me with a very limited diet, but as I’m not a vegetarian, I can live with it, sorta kinda maybe. Fruits and vegetables are out, most dairy is out, anything high-fiber is out, anything greasy or with a lot of fat is out. I can eat pasta, but any kind of sauce on it will trigger an explosion, so what’s the use of eating pasta? I can handle lean meats as long as they aren’t fried in any kind of grease, cheese is okay, potatoes and rice I can handle, some crackers and breads are tolerable (in small amounts). Chocolate doesn’t seem to bother me, in small amounts, and neither does my Dr Pepper or iced tea. I just take a multivitamin and extra B12 and D3 to make sure I’m getting most of what I need that what I eat doesn’t cover. It’s all I can do, without fighting with a fat-phobic doctor (and I am so not doing that anymore).
It makes eating out a real challenge, and I’m not looking forward to our trip to SeaWorld in San Antonio. Everyone else is getting the ticket for all you can eat at the various restaurants, and I can’t do that because I don’t know how their food is cooked or what will be available that I can tolerate, and I don’t have a clue how close bathrooms are going to be. So while everyone else will be getting to eat while we’re there, I will get to eat my minimal breakfast before we go, and then have to wait for dinner after we leave just so I don’t have an accident (because when those incidents happen, they are sudden, and a bathroom had better be available NOW!). There are days when I just totally hate how my body acts.
I’m so sorry you’re going through something similar, Vesta. But, on the up-side, at least I’m in good company.
What kind of vitamins do you take? I’ve been skeptial of vitamins because of all that I read about how we pee most of them out anyway. However, I remember that in the past when I took them, I did feel a little better. Is there any special kind that you take or do you just go for the general Centrum-like stuff you can by at the grocery store?
I hear you about eating out. If I’m eating out with friends, I’d rather not have any activity afterwards because I never know if I’ll have to opt-out due to illness. I just have to eat slowly, try to listen very carefully to body cues and hope that’s enough (and often it is not).
What really bugs me is how little I get out, because I’m always sick or tired from being sick. Even when the stars align and depression and fatigue have backed off enough to let me go do something… my stomach most likely will require I stay close to home near my giant bottle of Tums and the bathroom.
Did your many tests rule out an Eosinophilic disease? A friend of mine has a daughter who can’t really eat anything, is in chronic abdominal pain, and misses a lot of school. It’s rare and shares a lot of symptoms with IBS.
I’ve never heard of this. Next time I see the doc, I will ask about it.
Ugh. Oh god. i know how you feel. D;
done any Bilirubin tests indirect/direct
gluten was a big factor for me.
Hope you get better.
While we know that I am sensitive to gluten, I am not gluten intolerance. My intestines were biopsied to test this, because otherwise I had all the symptoms. I must be reacting to gluten in some way that doesn’t involve the immune system…
So sorry for what you are going through. My skinny little hubby has been thru so much of this, and I can only imagine it with an extra helping of fat shame.
We spent last Thanksgiving waiting and HOPING for an IBS diagnosis. Nope. Still don’t have one of any kind after years of trying. I’m not going to chime in with the gluten tips or the dietary advice….I’m guessing you’re seen it all and then some. We used to try and amuse ourselves by creating a Venn Diagram of what we could both eat…it was ridiculously small.
Just sending a big “I hear you” and hoping you get some relief.
Thank you so much, Chutti. It is nice to just be heard. 🙂
I would google starch sensitivity… I used what I found online as a starting point for problem solving some personal observations (for instance, beans of any kind make me just puff up and retain water, which made me depressed).
Away to Google I go! But… off the stop of my head, I have no problems with potatoes or properly ripe (not over or under) bananas. But, a little Googling won’t hurt.
Oh, man. My subject! So sorry to find out you have poop problems too, they’re hours of no fun.
If you’ve been reading the ‘Sphere you know I’ve already written reams about this. But if it helps, IBS triggers are not the same for everyone. I know I generally can’t do raw or undercooked veggies except for lettuce; I can eat raw carrots grated, but not whole. A lot of fruits are no-go with me too: apples, pears, kiwis, oranges, possibly melons. Bananas can’t be overripe or underripe. And of course there’s the cow’s milk and the gluten and…argh. Yeah, they tell you to pile on the fiber, but they don’t provide any clue that some of that fiber can make your tummy push reject!
Another thing I found is that the first few hours after I get up is when my gastrocolic reflex is most sensitive. Only a few things actually get the green light then, in very small amounts, until I’ve emptied myself out; until then, I have to avoid things like caffeine (including chocolate), but I can have a little bit after I’m out of the red zone time-wise. Good luck with figuring it out!
Why, yes, I’ve been reading the Fatosphere for years now and I love your blog. But, I haven’t read any of our posts about your digestive issues…. now I’m going to go through your posts and see if I can find some!
Thank you for that bit about the IBS triggers. I suspected that they may be more diverse than EVERY SINGLE WEBSITE says, but I haven’t been informed enough to really know. It reminds me of all the websites I read on ADHD and Depression (pre-diagnosis). Acorrding to those sites, there was no way I had these things… but after years of learning about them I have learned there is just so much most websites don’t tell you if you don’t know what to look for.
I’m with you on being extra sensitive after waking up. I spend pretty much every morning sick no matter what I eat. It’s tons of fun. But, as long as I get up several hours before I have to be at work, it at least usually works itself out before I get there. But, all the tapdancing I have to do to be somewhat functional with this horrible stomach of mine really bugs me.
I get that too on pushing fiber. Whole grains make me ill; other than oatmeal and I don’t want to eat oatmeal everyday. Nuts go through me. Beans are usually good as long as they are cooked well. I often make chilies. Overcooked vegetables taste better to me in soup. There are plenty of good brands of soup on the market that have lots of vegetables if you don’t have time to cook. Good luck, Meowser. At least, my doctor immediately diagnosed IBS and we talked about what foods and exercises irritate my condition.
I understand exactly how you feel. Especially with how chronic abdominal pain accompanies these things and can be really severe. I went to the er one time because I thought my appendix had ruptured because I couldn’t walk and the er doc humiliated me because it ended up being nothing. Since then I have ignored even worse abdominal pain just to not be embarrassed like that again. My husband is under orders to not take me to hospital unless I am unconcious or vomiting blood. I really hope this works out for you. Dealing with doctors is so frustrating, especially when they give you the weight talk and they are clearly carrying an extra 60-70 pounds.
Oh geez, Amber… I am so sorry. That sounds awful.
It’s this kind of thing that also makes me very wary to go to the doctor. And then when I am really sick, the doctors complain that I wait until things are way too severe to do anything about it. Well, gee… I wonder why??!! Grrrr.
As far as humanity as come in the last 200 years, I still find us very primative especially in terms of medical care. Maybe in another 200 years, our medical care will be more user friendly…
For what it’s worth, I’m in love with food journaling. I’ve been doing it for eight months, for medical reasons – not anything weight related – and I’ve found it’s a wonderful tool of self discovery. I’ve discovered that depressive moods that I always thought came out of the blue come right on schedule with some dietary behaviours. I’ve discovered that alcohol messes with my sleep, and so on. It’s also very helpful for waving at doctors, because it can be ‘proof’ of what I’m telling them.
And it’s a kind of diary as well. I can look back and remember some great meals I had with friends and relive them!
So maybe give it a shot for a couple of weeks, and see if it turns up any surprises.
You make a good argument for food journaling. 😉 Perhaps if I bought myself a really pretty notebook.
I’m a near vegetarian like you. Your diet sounds awful close to mine. I also have IBS. If I eat less than four hours before going to bed, I get very ill. I apparently can’t digest things when I sleep. It’s a bitch while traveling. If we eat just before going to the hotel, I’m too tired to stay up enough hours so my food is digested enough that I can sleep without being awaken by vomiting and/or diarrhea. I told my bf if we’re out late again to not let me eat.
I also find the list of what I can eat as time goes on getting smaller and smaller. I could eat shell fish a few months ago and now I can’t. I’m lactose intolerant and allergic to milk protein so most dairy is out of the question. I can use cream in my coffee and I like butter on my toast but that is about it. I can’t do large amounts of oil. Raw vegetables are a no-no. I found that my stomach can now handle lightly cooked ones. I don’t like the taste of overcooked ones except in soups. I have no problem with gluten. Bread or pasta usually settles my stomach. Most whole grains are a no-no. Sugar and caffeine are irritants especially HFCS, I makes my stomach feel weird.
The point is you have to be patient and test lots of foods. I would suggest over time trying to eat vegetables less and less mushy. It worked for me.
I am looking forward to the day when I become middle aged and my symptoms go away. I hope this is true…
I did a lot better tummy-wise when I lived/worked near curry-row in Manhatten. Whatever the spices, the way that vegetables are cooked in Indian recipes is very tummy-friendly for me. Unfortunately I now live in the mid-west again and a wide-variety of Indian food around here is hard to come by unless I want to drive a really long way (I don’t). I’ve burned out several times on the two Indian places in my town… sigh. Perhaps I should move closer to the local curry-row. I also do pretty well with Chinese food, but with the dozens of Chinese places near my home there are few that make food that tastes good to me. There is one place I do really like, but they consistently get my order wrong and wrong enough that the food I get is inedible to me. It is ridiculously frustrating. I wish I had some talent for cooking, but, frankly, I cannot even boil or fry an egg properly.
It’s ashame you can’t cook. Noodle soup is one of the things I can eat when all else fails. Then, there are a number of good brands of soup mixes on the market. All you need to do is microwave or boil water.
I think I need to take a class. I do much better when taught by others and cookbooks are getting me nowhere. I still cannot boil and egg that tastes good enough to eat. 😦
I can at least boil water to make good tea… and I am a talented barista, but that is about it.
I do live in a pretty progressive area. Perhaps there are some classes for vegetarians, because I am not interested in messing with meat. Besides, from my meat-eating upbringing, ironically, meat is the one silly thing that I can cook with competence.
AGR – I take the Centrum Silver Ultra Women’s for women over 50, the B12 I take is the sublingual (2500 mcg 2X a day), and the D3 are gels (1000 IU 2X a day). The B12, which my doctor said I don’t need (what does she know), keeps my levels at 1000, where they should be. I don’t know where they’d be if I weren’t taking it, and I’m not willing to find out. I also used to have mad heartburn and acid reflux and ate the generic Rolaids like candy. I now take one Prilosec every day (the over-the-counter version) and no longer have heartburn or acid reflux. $25 for 6 weeks of relief is money well-spent as far as I’m concerned. I get all of these at Wal-Mart, they seem to have the cheapest prices, and in our town, it’s either the WM pharmacy or the pharmacy at Coborn’s (the grocery store). And Coborn’s prices don’t even come close to matching Wally World on over-the-counter stuff. Hope this helps.
Good to know, thank you. I have a bottle of a general sort-of multi-vitamin in my cabinet, so I think I will start taking them again and see how I feel. I will look into B-vitamins. As a vegetarian, I have read that it is extra hard for me to get them.
Thank you so much for conversation and support, Vesta!
Please Google the antibiotic Xifaxan. It is most commonly used for various intestinal infections like traveler’s diarrhea but has value for some people with IBS as well..
A few years ago, a gastroenterologist at Cedars Sinai here in California tried it for patients with IBS symptoms. His results were promising enouth that a few others started to try it experementally.
I have had digestive problems all my life much like yourself. My symptom list is much the same as yours. I’ve had about every test known to humanity for digestive disorders and got few answers. Nothing much I tried worked. I felt like the little grey guy in the picture most of the time.
As if that wasn’t enough, after I had my gallbladder removed, things got really bad. I won’t go into graphic detail but I was once pretty much a prisoner in my home because of the problem.
A few years ago now I went to a gastroenterologist at UCLA who put me on Xifaxan. It really helped me a lot. She said that there are bacterias that can infect the intestine that no one reallyl knew could do that before and that is how Xifaxan is helping people that haven’t had luck with other treatments.
Now I understand that using Xifaxan for IBS issues is common. You might want to talk to your doctor about seeing if it would be worth a try for you.
Best wishes and feel better soon.
Thank you for the wishes. Today, I am feeling much better. Hopefully it will last.
I will look into this med you mention. 🙂
IBS is tough – I’ve got mild IBS, mostly well-managed by making sure that I get enough soluble fiber/exercise but it’s difficult.
A couple of things that I’ve found helpful. All fiber is not equal. Insoluble fiber, like the stuff you find in a lot of vegetables, is generally NOT good for IBS sufferers. You want soluble fiber. My nutritionist gave me a recommendation of an excellent IBS fiber supplement and I’ll ask her about it, but it’s why something like oatmeal works well for a lot of people with IBS (but not all) but, say, lots of raw, leafy vegetables can be really harsh.
Also, your triggers may well not be other people’s triggers, and vice versa. Stress has a lot to do with IBS and I understand that there’s some good research going on proving that meditation and stress-relief techniques can be very helpful to IBS sufferers.
*hugs*
I don’t have any answers but it sounds like you’ve gotten a lot of great input from commenters above! I sometimes wonder if there should be some sort of study on we fats, because it seems like so many of us have physiological issues that, I suspect, may well be related to weight (not caused by it, but symptomatic of other stuff going on that’s causing us to be larger than we might otherwise be).
Thanks for the support, Heidi.
I do really well with oatmeal… tho, I don’t eat it for the fiber. I just eat it when I crave it. I don’t need fiber (that I know of). I seem to be a walking human-laxative.
One of the best kept secrets about fiber is that it can actually help when you have diarrhea as well as when you’re constipated. It’s not just a laxative.
I went through years of these issues and it did stop for me. Each case is different but I hope you are able to find your solution.
Thank you… I think from experience I know this to be true as well. I did try to ease a little fiber back into my life and have felt better. It is just when my stomach is very bad, I become a little fiberphobic for better or for worse.