Job Stuff

I am exhausted.  Just exhausted and that noose is what I think of corporate America right now. 

The good and the bad of it is that I am hanging in until February 15th.  The good bit is that I will be on vacation for most of this time.  I have a bunch of time-off left and I’m going to use it, damn-it.  That will leave me with about five workdays to train my replacement.  The poor guy will need training.  It’s a hell of a job and guidance is generally in short supply.  My direct manager thinks I’m some kinda wonder-saint for proposing this.  I want good references, so that’s nice.

The bad bit is, I’m sick.  I have some kinda flu.  It would be kinda nice to log-off on Friday never to log-on again at this job anyway.  The manager I actually work for (I’m loaned out to a client manager of sorts) will not be happy unless I work overtime until the very last day the company would allow me to work there given that I gave notice in DECEMBER.  *headdesk* 

Back to the nice bits, I’ve becoming more willing and able to negotiate for what I want.  Yes, I think my replacement deserves proper training.  Hell no, I don’t want to work two more full weeks.  I would rather stick a fork in my eye.  So, yay me for speaking up and negotiating for something that works for me.  This has certainly been a struggle for me over the years.  I generally took the “safe route” of the “good girl” and would do whatever was most beneficial for anyone, except myself.  I am so over the good girl routine.  I am also trying to practice my negotiating suave now, so I can get into the groove of it before I have a new boss to fence with.  It is also important to me that I leave this job on a good note.  *fingers crossed*

A recruiter called me for a job at one of the biggest banks in the world.  When I looked the place up on Wiki, it looked just about as soulless as the place I work for now.  Sure they have stats that are something like #97 best place for women to work and #122 best place to start a career, but my old place touted that kinda tripe all over the posters on the walls.  I think they are hoping that if they say it enough through various marketting to employees that we (the employees) will somehow believe this.  It’s sadly ironic how some of the most draconian places to work go the extra mile to go out of the way to INFORM their employees that they really are happy.  Sure, maybe this bank isn’t like this.  Who knows.  But, it smells awful fishy to me.  You can bet that I will be dissecting any job offer with an atomic scalpel for quality of life assurances.

Otherwise, the idea of taking some classes is looking more and more attractive to me.  My therapist thinks I’d make a good therapist and I’ve wanted to be one since I was a little kid, so I’m looking into LCSW programs.  Maybe if I have some quiet time at work tomorrow, I will make some calls to learn more.  I feel like this is potentially a chance for me to make things right for myself in a way.  I didn’t choose my current trade (Finance) because I like it.  What I like is math, so maybe I should’ve looked into more purely mathematical careers.  What I like more is psychology, sociology and related subjects, but it seemed everyone and their dogs were psych majors and I wanted to get into a field where my skills would be more scarce as a way to give myself security.  I did all this at the expense of what I really love and am naturally good at and I regret it.  I am also not doing cartwheels over the fact that I work for CORPORATE AMERICA.  Big nameless, faceless, corporate America.  I have seen first hand some of the nasty things I’d only seen parodied in movies and on TV.  I would really like to do something that directly helps people rather than something that directly helps corporations and governments that I don’t believe have an ounce of ethics.

So, we shall see…

It’s kind of exciting to imagine I might finally escape corporate financial america hell.  At the same time, I am human.  And… ya know… most humans fear change and all.  I’m not sure whether to beam with happiness or toss and turn all night in bed with nerves.  In the meantime, I think I will just take one small step at a time and do the best I can. 

–AngryGrayRainbows