Newsweek had a recent article about anti-depressants and how they may only really work for those with severe depression. I can’t say I believe much of what I read in the media, but I was caused to ponder my own ideas of my own depression. I wouldn’t tolerate any description of it other than ‘mild’… until now. I did a little research and found that I do fit the description of severe depression, especially the bit about how depression permeates every corner of my existence all the time full stop. Anti-depressants have worked wonders for me and only after years of therapy and medication have I realized that depression was the air I breathed – the whole being of my life. Because I have had these symptoms for as long as I could remember, it was normal to me. I would read descriptions of depression by famous people being a deep dark hole or something. I didn’t even know I was in a hole. I had hardly ever seen daylight to know I lived in a hole. I thought my few brief forays into mild happiness were manic periods.
Whether anti-depressants work for those with mild depression, I cannot say. I don’t recommend putting to much stock in the health claims of mainstream media. If anti-depressants work for you, don’t let a magazine cover tell you they don’t… Besides, I am sure there are lots of folks out there who think they have only mild depression (because, like me, they live way too far into the dark depths of depression to know how far they are in it) and in fact have a much stronger depression that could very much benefit from meds.
To circle back to body acceptance, a large component of my depression is a disconnection with my body. Intuitive eating is extremely difficult when you have little connection to your body and even all the helpful questions (like: what do I want…: something hot, cold, crunchy, salty, etc…) can hardly stir any body/mind connection at all. Years of trying and reading tips on implementing IE and therapy did little to shake the rust off the lines of communication between my mind and body. I only know this now, because I happen to be on a medication that has given me a far stronger sense of communication of mind and body. Thank you, Zoloft. I don’t know if my ability to sense my body’s needs is anywhere near the range or normal. What I do know is that I feel so much better being able to understand what my body needs. The willingness to do what I need to do is there. I’ve worked on that for years without realizing that what I very much lacked was and understanding of what I needed… what is the point of willingness if you don’t know what it is productive to be willing to do? Heh.
I suspect there are many people out there like me who, for whatever reason, need more than appetite questions to get in touch with their bodies. If you are anything like me, take heart and don’t give up the fight of finding healthy ways to get in touch with your body’s needs and your appetite. Intuitive eating is so very worth it.