New Lessons in Recovery (for me anyway…)

Things are changing so much lately… sometimes it feels like my brain is going to explod, but in a good way.  LOL  If that makes any sense…  So, to chew on what has occurred to me lately, I am here to type it out.  For some reason, writing is an important part of processing for me.  🙂

What have I been learning?

~ Sometimes making space for feelings means taking out the ear buds (I love my mp3 players), putting down the x-box controller or closing the book.  Until now, I am sad to say that doing this has been extremely hard for me.  Make space?  For feelings?  Aren’t they, like, supposed to resolve themselves in the background while I’m focusing on more important things… like learning Byzantine history or applying to scrumptious looking jobs?  I’m learning more about HOW to make space for feelings.  Sure, I’ve known a long time that it is helpful to do this… but I’m learning to apply this more and learning about the rewards I can reap from just putting down the damn mp3 player for five whole minutes. 

~ Intuitive eating is glorious.  Okay, I already knew that… but I’m learning this on a deeper level.  In other words, this eating at less urgent levels of hunger is working fabulously and I’m feeling stronger and healthier every day. 

~ If I have waited too long to eat (it still happened so me… often at least once in a day, since I’m still learning), I can help prevent the worse effects of prolonged hunger if I eat a fruit or a veggie before I get into whatever meal I’m going to have.  This helps calm down my body, so I don’t so desperately scarf down my tardy meal.  I use the IE method of asking myself what my body feels would be most helpful… and I eat that.  Often it’s something high sugar from the fruit world… like an apple or banana, but sometimes I just wanna rip into a bag of pre-cut salad.  It doesn’t cure all the mess that waiting too long to eat causes, but it does help a little… and I really appreciate that!

~ I am a more effective and capable person than I knew.  For example… I never thought I’d get the hang of networking.  I’m an introvert and can be kinda shy.  I also have a dry and sometimes weird sense of humor that causes people to sometimes just look at me as if I’m insane…  Anyhoo, I have been networking — professionally.  I have kept in touch with my old work team and, especially, the guy who took over my old role, so I can learn whatever I can from how he handles my previous and horrible boss.  I have been calling recruiters back.  I haven’t felt shy.  I haven’t felt like I need to save people from the horrid experience of speaking to me.  I’ve felt like I have things to offer the world and allowing people to have contact with me is a way for others to benefit from these things I offer.

~ The importance of feeling competant is being further exibited over and over and over and over and over to me… as explored here and here.  Sometimes just reminding myself that I AM CAPABLE (and/or competant) makes me feel like an anvil has been removed from my back.  I dare ya to try it some time!

Happy Easter and Passover for those who celebrate!  Happy weekend for everyone else!!!

–AngryGrayRainbows