The title says it all. Please, please, please…if you want to show yourself the ultimate in love, WEAR CLOTHES THAT FIT!
When I started the Intuitive Eating process I was encouraged to wear clothes that fit. That sounds so simple and yet if you don’t pay attention, you’ll wear the wrong size and throw your whole week off kilter.
Case in point… last week I was getting ready for work and I went to my closet and picked out a cute blouse and a pair of pants that matched. I put them on, checked myself out in the mirror and saw that the bottom button of my blouse was a bit puckered when it buttoned (no, I don’t tuck in my blouses).
I thought to myself, “oh well, it’s not bad, I can handle it.” Remember the “inspiration” blog I just posted? I think this ill fitting blouse was the issue that topped of my week and caused me to hit my pothole. That whole day I was worried about that bottom button. At one point I even just unbuttoned it and that made me feel worse. Let me give you some insight into what was going on in my brain that day.
“Yeah, yeah, it’s tight but it’s ok.”
“Ok, so sitting down in the car to drive to work was a bit uncomfortable.”
“Oh gees, since it’s a cotton blouse, I’m causing these huge creases to form and bring even more attention to that dadgum button that WON’T BUTTON!”
“WHY DID I WEAR THIS STUPID BLOUSE?!?”
“WHY AM I SO FAT?”
“WHO WOULD LOVE A BIG FAT SLOB LIKE ME?”
“WHY DID I EVEN GET UP THIS MORNING?”
All because that bottom button didn’t want to button.
The following day I wore my favorite outfit and it fits. I felt so confident in how I looked. It showed in the way I presented myself to people. I had two or three people compliment me for the way I looked that day. I didn’t rush home after work and take it off to put on something comfortable because I was already comfortable. But most of all, I didn’t berate myself all day for how ugly and undeserving I was.
The blouse with the tight fitting bottom button is going to a local charity. My goal for this week is to go through all of my clothes (and SHOES) and get rid of what I cannot wear. There is no reason to hold onto anything that doesn’t fit. I can’t live my life dreaming of the time when I can wear it in the future. And I don’t need the constant reminder of when I might have been able to wear it in the past. This week should produce several blouses, some pants, dresses and a couple of jackets that someone at the shelter will probably love to get.
Do you have clothes in your closet that you’re hanging on to in hopes you’ll one day lose enough weight to wear them. Or do you have clothes hanging in your closet that you intentionally bought a size smaller so as to motivate you to lose weight? Don’t punish yourself this way. If nothing else, pack them up and put them in storage so you don’t see them hanging in your closet everyday. Show yourself some love and respect and clean out that closet!
LOVE THIS!!!
I totally agree with this. The first step is self acceptance and it starts with self care. Today I cleaned my wardrobe of all the clothes that were too small for me. I feel now that I have more room to be myself, that I am accepting myself a little better…Thanks for your blog.
Sky
I’ve had clothing in my closet for years that “almost fits” because I was convinced I’d lose weight so that it would fit again. Then I very quickly gained 10 lbs. about 6 months ago. A lot of the “almost fits” clothing crossed the line into clearly too small (especially around the, how do you say…rack of doom).
I’ll admit it – I had a minor panic attack and curled up and cried. And then I got rid of all of it.
Why torture myself holding on to clothing that doesn’t fit and may never fit? I’ve made a pledge to myself that I’ll buy clothing that fits and flatters me regardless of what the size tag says – which was illustrated beautifully when I was out shopping today. I tried on a top in my normal size that squished the boobs. So I got it a size larger – probably the largest size I’ve ever worn – and it fit me comfortably and was very flattering. I also bought another top, from the same store, one size smaller than my usual.
You just never know.
Anyway, the point of my ramblings? You’re right 🙂
SO TRUE!!!
I was just thinking about this an hour or so ago…my husband, who is, in general, a very a smart man, was one of those super-thin teenagers who grow up into nice, fat men.
He never really had the kind of deep body image problems that I had from growing up fat (and a fat female), but as he got bigger he just kept thinking, “Well, I don’t want to get new clothes, because at some point I’m going to start jogging/biking/skipping those after work beers, etc.”
So for several years he wore clothes that were from a little bit to a lot too tight for him. And the too-tight legs of his undershorts actually caused nerve damage in his outer thigh. Permanent, “oh shit that hurts,” nerve damage.
So, yeah. Whatever you think about fat and fat acceptance we should all do our psyches and bodies a favor and wear clothes that fit. (The question of cost is, of course, another variable…it’s not always that easy to replace clothes…but to deliberately wear too-tight stuff when you could do otherwise is just needless self-inflicted torture.)
I did this a year ago, and again recently. I wanted everything I put my hand to in the closet to be a) something I liked, and b) something that fit. Nothing’ll ruin your day faster than the trying on of 10 things that don’t fit right, and that’s before you even get out the door.
It was liberating in the extreme. Clothes are meant to cover us and make us feel good, not to give us a complex.
I so need to do this. I keep cycling through the same 3 t-shirts because all the other t-shirts in my dresser don’t fit. But it’s been a low priority because they aren’t work clothes. (and because my favorite, most comfy and flattering t-shirt was a Goodwill find and I don’t even know what store to go to for that brand)
I do this periodically, but I keep changing sizes; right now, I just need to go out and buy fitting pants–I don’t have any that aren’t worn out.
I end up doing a total closet-culling about once per year, but periodically I’ll move stuff that either doesn’t fit right anymore or I’ve just gotten tired of wearing over to the less-used side of the closet so I don’t have to look at it anymore. 🙂
My problem is I either a) can’t find anything that fits properly or b) can’t afford anything that fits properly. I am a strange size in that my boobs are enormous but the rest of my body isn’t so bad. Most of my clothes are either tents to cover my boobs…or they border on half shirts because of my boobs.
I do make an effort to get nice jeans/pants though. That is something I can get pretty “average” on even though I am a size 16/18 depending on the cut…well…as long as I don’t go to Walmart…their jeans/pants are almost always mom jeans. LOL
Ha!
I bought a beautiful beaded green dress three years ago after a crazy diet and never wore it even once, as (naturally) I gained all the weight back and then some. This post has highlighted for me how ridiculous it is that the dress is still hanging in my closet.
What am I waiting for exactly? To magically reach that completely unsustainable weight again?
Im going home tonight and listing it on Trade Me.
This is such a wise (and, for me, timely) message. I gave up on dieting ages ago and cleared out the REALLY too-small clothes — but I still hung onto a lot of too-small sizes, thinking….
I dunno, thinking that if I got intuitive eating right, my body might reset itself to a size 12/14 instead of its current 18/20?
So two days ago I started the BIG closet purge, challenging myself to keep only those things that fit me TODAY. It’s harder to do than I wish it were. And it’s gonna take a while, I think. But I’m gonna keep plugging away at it. Thanks for the encouragement for me to keep on that track!
I have started buying new jeans (1 pair a month) from Old Navy. The sweetheart cut is just perfect for me, and when I put them on…a match made in heaven 🙂
I do need to go through my closet and get rid of some clothes. What I do, is i go through my closet, and throw all the clothes that don’t fit into a box. If I don’t miss those clothes for a year, I just take ’em – box and all – and give ’em to goodwill. Then I start over again. That way, I don’t have to worry about throwing out clothes that I “could” wear again.
My family’s full of pack rats, and this cuts down on the anxiety of throwing things out. This way, I can rationalize and say “If I didn’t need it for a year, I’m probably not EVER going to need it!”
I love wearing clothes that fit and are comfortable! When I can afford to consistently replace all my clothing because I’ve gone up a size, I’ll let you know. Until then, I guess I’ll have to suck it up and be a fat slob in clothes that don’t quite work on me.
Hey hey hey! Watch the self-talk there! 😛 <<< my tone of voice here is playful… yet the point is valid.
I can't afford to get all the clothes I need in the right size either. I just do what I can when I can. No one can ask you or me to do any better.
I am not the author of this post, but I know her well… and my guess was that her point was that if you are able to get yourself clothes that fit better and feel better then don't hesitate for feelings of not being worth the effort or money or whatever. This is not a mandate for people who cannot afford it to go on some clothes splurge that they cannot afford. 😉
I bring all this up, because the word "slob" came up. When we call ourselves not nice words – even if we mean it is sarcasm or as a joke – some part of us takes it seriously and it erodes self-esteem. It would be more accurate and emotionally honest to say something like "I'm frustrated cuz I don't have the $$$ I need to get better fitting clothes… it sucks… it makes me mad and sad… and just bleh… "
Be kind to yourself. Of all the people in the world, you need you on your side most of all.
havoc, I can so relate to what you’re saying. That’s like all the things in the books of wisdom that tell us (those using the Overcoming Overeating approach) to have all the foods in your house that you could possiby want (and three times as much on top of that) so as not to feel deprived. As much I would love to do that, my husband didn’t appreciate it one bit so that was something I chose not to do. No worries.
There are some things you can do and some things you can’t (or at least not at the moment). And you know what, there are some things you simply just aren’t ready to do and that’s ok too. My point is that my post was actually meant as a forerunner to more posts about self-love and self-care.
I do want to challenge you about the negative self-talk that you displayed. Would you have called me a fat slob the day I wore the blouse with the too tight fitting button at the bottom? I don’t think so. (I don’t know, maybe you would’ve 😉 ). My point is, you wouldn’t be so cruel to someone else, why be so cruel to yourself? You deserve better than that. I hope you know that within yourself!
I should definitely share this with my aunt. She has stuff in her closet that’s too small, and she also BUYS clothing that’s too small, because she thinks it’ll motivate her to lose weight.